When you hear moms talk about postpartum, usually it’s breastfeeding, peri-bottles, and sleep that is discussed.
Something that has been heavy on my heart postpartum is my relationship with my dogs.
I’ve had dogs my entire life. My family rescued boxers and goldens and we had a rotating door of 4 dogs at any given time from the time I was 7 or 8 to 18. I’ve never not had dogs, except for a brief stint in my early 20s.
Dogs, especially rescue dogs, have always been a really big part of my life. I knew that I wanted my kids to grow up with dogs. And the stats around happiness and life longevity around having dogs shows that they do actually improve your chances of living longer!
But I was so unprepared for how I would feel about my two, crazy, sweet, goofy GSD mixes once I had my son.
I had a very difficult conception and pregnancy. We did 6 IUIs and a round of IVF that resulted in the birth of my son. I had hyperemesis gravidarum and was bedridden from weeks 8-16 and my two dogs never left my side. Like, slept in bed with me all day every day. I was very worried about how the dogs were going to feel once the baby got here but didn’t take into consideration how I would feel towards them once the baby got here.
I struggled with sleep perfection and was obsessed with how much my son was/wasn’t sleeping and if the dogs even made a peep, I would absolutely lose it. I became obsessive about them being around the baby because they are 95lbs and 100lbs respectively and my PPA and intrusive thoughts resulted in a lot of scenarios that put me on edge constantly.
I was so exhausted from taking care of the baby, not being able to take care of myself, exclusively pumping, that these two sweet babies honestly ended up at the bottom of my list. They are GSDs and need human connection and an outlet and those first 6 months postpartum, I was not able to give that to them. My husband did what he could and would spend time with them and take them on walks but he was focused on taking care of me and the baby and working 60 hours a week. We discussed how we now understood how people get rid of their dogs once baby arrives. We never would, but we could see how people end up making that decision.
Every weekend, I do a Weekend Confessional on Instagram and let moms vent, share, celebrate, or ask questions and get answers from other moms. Recently, I posted that I was struggling with my relationship with my dogs and SO MANY other moms shared the same sentiment. The unexpected overstimulation, the paranoia around germs, the constantly cleaning, and having someone else to take care of on top of everyone else they take care of.
Here are some of the things they shared:
So if you are struggling with your dogs in this new postpartum phase, just know that other moms are struggling too.
I will say, things are getting better, now that I am 1 year postpartum. I am slowly rebuilding a relationship with them as my son becomes more independent and I am weaning.
If I’ve learned anything it’s that things take way longer in this season, so give yourself time. Time to learn your new role as a mom, time to understand your new body, and time to reconnect with your fur babies.